He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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