The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
