so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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