chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
