the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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