sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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