So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
