oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
