i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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