are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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