i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
