oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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