Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
God I need to hump something, right now.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
