I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
