the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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