So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
