I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
