I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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