I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
