you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
