this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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