Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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