High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
