Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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