I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
