SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
