They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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