she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
