he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
they need to just BURY HIM!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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