That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
