Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
