A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
