Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
