the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
