There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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