yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I think my moral compass just broke
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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