return my video game
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
