PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
