elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
