garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
