If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I need to calm my uterus...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
