Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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