He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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