I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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