I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
