So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
