dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
