how can u be prego again
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
