I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
