I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
